Listening to silence: discovering your self-worth without a single word
If you happen to find yourself alone among strangers; keep silent.
Epictetus, handbook, 33.2
This morning, as I sipped my coffee and flipped through Epictetus’ Handbook (a book I believe everyone should have a copy of), I came across this quote.
Recently, I have been reflecting on how I always feel the need to fill the silence, or talk a lot of rubbish to people. Have you ever thrown out a joke for the sake of it, it doesn’t land, and you feel stupid? “Why did I say that?” I always ask myself, replaying it over and over in my head before bed later that night.
Why do we feel the need to do this?
I realised it was my inner child crying out “please, let them like me”, echoing memories of being overlooked in games or judged by the colour of my skin.
A need for acceptance was almost hard wired into me from an early age. But this is a learned behaviour, and like all learned behaviours, it can be rewritten.
It’s fascinating how much of our adult behaviour stems from our wounded inner child. These unresolved feelings that linger for decades. No one teaches us to look inward and speak to this child, who is always there, begging for attention and influencing our behaviour.
